The Sentinel (1977)

Directed: Michael Winner
Written: Jeffrey Konvitz
Duration: 92 mins.
Rated: R. For sex and violence. I don't think anyone swears in it, but there is a plethora of bloody, gory scenes and a healthy number of nipples.
Available to Own: on DVD
Genre: Supernatural Horror
Actors: Chris Sarandon, Cristina Raines, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Jeff Goldblum, Eli Wallach
Comparable Films: The Exorcist, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby
Movie in a Sentence: The Gates of Hell is in an apartment in Brooklyn, and the Catholic Church wants a bored fashion model to be the next sentry, so they move her in and let the demons and ghosts convince her.
Should You Watch? Eh. Not seriously, no. It is unintentionally funny, though.
RATING: I'll go 7 out of 10, and I'm being generous because I like Burgess Meredith in this.
Walken Content: He's got maybe three minutes and most of those he's just listening to someone else. Move along, no Walken for you here.
Walken Quote: Nothing worth repeating.

An ancient, blind, albino, Catholic priest (John Carradine) stands silent guard at the The Gates of Hell, which just so happens to be located in an apartment building in Brooklyn. It's a nice place, really. Good neighborhood, close to the market, tastefully decorated. Too bad it's haunted by the ghosts of dead murderers, criminals and (gasp!) LESBIANS!! Yes, that's right: evil, monstrous, lust-filled lesbians.

Ahh! Oh, sorry, I thought you were Lesbians. Ahh!

Scary, right? This movie demonizes (literally! DEMONIZES!!) lesbians, and does it in this kind of offhand, casual manner, like 'Hello! Meet the Axe Murderer, Satan, and the Lesbians. Nice to meet you all.'   ... Well, it got a chuckle from me. And that's about the most response this late 70's horror film brought out of me, a chuckle. Sure, it was good in the way adequately "bad" movies are good: quotably awful lines, quirky characters, bits of 70s culture, and a parade of nudity, although it's not always a good parade if you know what I mean. It was interesting to see all the actors I recognize from other films, like the nefarious Prince Humperdinck from The Princess Bride, Clark Griswald's wife in the National Lampoon's Various Vacations, and Mickey, Rocky's cantankerous curmudgeonous trainer/manager. There are more, but why ruin it.

the creepy kind of nice

 But is that enough? Odd characters? Stilted lines? Nipples?

Perhaps if Walken had more screen-time I would be forgiving of the rest of it. Perhaps. But he doesn't. And I'm not.

Chris plays Detective Rizzo, a name we would not know if it didn't say so in the closing credits. Eli Wallach is the lead detective here, and Rizzo is just his shadow. Walken gets to bounce a few expository lines off of him, but nothing of substance occurs, nothing of notable charm. He wears a tie, he says a few words, and then he disappears, hardly a character at all.

Someone threw away a perfectly good Walken.

Rizzo, allegedly

I was going to talk about the horrible acting of the star, the vacuous Cristina Raines, and maybe segue that into an observation about the film's paternal and condescending attitude towards women, and its laughably Catholic outlook on sexuality, and possibly explore how those things undermine the attempt at scaring its audience.

I was going to, but the severe lack of Walken in this film has sapped my will to continue. You could watch this for Burgess Meredith's performance as the super nice but increasingly creepy eccentric neighbor. You could watch this for the brief scene where a mute, spandexed Beverly D'Angelo rubs one out to breathless climax in front of a shocked and flustered stranger. Pervert. You could be a Jeff Goldblum fan looking for his brief and bland role as a photographer. You could even watch this for Eli Wallach's Columbo-esque performance as the kooky but sharp detective trying to piece it all together before its too late. Or for the slimy skeazy sleaze that Chris Serandon slides upon so well.

Iocane powder! I'd bet my life on it!

There are other reasons, surely, but none of these 'parts' are quite compelling enough to warrant sitting through the 'whole' of this awkward mess. Watch it on fast-forward. Get medicated and/or drunk. Maybe keep a book nearby to read during the slow/dumb/confusing parts.

But don't bother if you are just looking for some more Walken. You'll just be disappointed.

Next Stop, Greenwich Village (1976)

Directed and Written: Paul Mazursky
Duration: 111 mins
In: color
Available to Own: on DVD
MPAA Rating: R
Genre: Coming-of-age Drama
Actors: Lenny Baker, Shelley Winters, Ellen Greene, Lou Jacobi, Jeff Goldblum

Comparable Films: The Graduate, A Bronx Tale, Annie Hall*(Walken Film)
Movie in a Sentence: A young New York Actor and his friends deal with the complications of leaving home, falling in and out of love, suicide and other existential dilemmas.
Should You Watch This: Yes, just be in the right mood for it.
RATING: Objectively 7 out of 10, but Walken's presence bumps it up to an 8
Walken Content: Just under a quarter of the film is Walkenized. But it's a shiiiny quarter!
Walken Quote:  "I did run away from home. When I was 15. I knew I wanted to be a writer. I knew. I also knew I wanted to sleep with a lot of different women. What can I tell you? People get hurt."

General Thoughts: Next Stop, Greenwich Village is a coming-of-age drama set in 1953 about the people in an aspiring actor's life when he moves out of his parents' house and into a tiny apartment in Greenwich Village.

Larry has an overbearing mother (Shelley Winters in an almost cartoon-like performance of THE Jewish mother) who can't let go of her son, and a pregnant (spoiler?) girlfriend (Ellen Greene, remember Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors: "Oh Seemowah!") who doesn't want the baby and may in fact not want Larry either. This is a well-written, well-acted period-piece that explores themes of personal identity, Jewishness, monogamy, abortion, acting (both on the stage and amongst friends), Jewishness, and suicide.
Oh and it's funny too.

Though Larry Lapinsky is the main character, it is the myriad of colorful secondaries that make this film work as well as it does. His boss at the juice bar, Herb, played by Lou Jacobi is great in this. I remember him as Murray from Amazon Women on the Moon, but he was also in Roseland with our own Mr. Walken just a year after this was released. He seems to play the same uber-Jewish oldish-man caricature in everything (and by everything I mean these three films) and that's fine by me because I delight in the rhythms and quirks of that accent. Everything's a question and an accusation simultaneously. He bullies, yells, and goes on tirades, but there's something inherently avuncular about his bull-dog manner. Interestingly, he's like a male version of Larry's mother, but without the screeching.

A shockingly young-looking Jeff Goldblum has a whopping 3 minutes of air-time, but I triple-must mention it because he is a such an endearingly self-righteous ponce in this. He is playing an actor who is flabbergasted that he has to audition for a role, and he isn't afraid to voice his objections or  his opinions with anyone. Wonderful stuff, but oh so brief.

If you don't blink, a sombrero-ed twenty-something Bill Murray is on the screen for all of two seconds as the camera pans across a crowded bar. He is Nick Kessler, the subject of an anecdote Larry tells his girlfriend. I was all like, "What the?! Was that Bill Muray!! Nawwww, it couldn't be." And yet, it was. Uncredited, fleeting, yet undeniably:  Bill Murray.

A lot of the scenes revolve around the friends that Larry has acquired in the Village. But the more I think about them, and their group dynamic, and their back-story, I think I will just let you find out about them yourself, cause let's face it: you've already decided whether or not you're going to track this movie down and watch it. So whaddaya WANT for my life? ... Eh? What's that? More Walken? Agreed.

Though it could be argued that Walken's character, the poet Robert Fulmer, is one of 'the friends,' I would say he is really more of a friendly acquaintance. And when I say 'friendly', I mean he smiles patiently at their jokes and he is playful with them, but Robert is not one of them.

He is like a handsome prince traveling with a motley circus troupe. His clothes are expensive and his poise is elegant, but it is his outspoken pragmatic morality that most noticeably clashes with their liberal sensitivities. He is certainly a minority amongst this group of starry-eyed idealists, but he is chock full of confidence and never misses an opportunity to test the integrity of their opinions. And he does it all with such charm! They love him for it. He uses accents in his anecdotes and quotes William Blake on a whim. Robert is so unwaveringly worldly, charming and well-spoken that he almost seems supernatural standing next to these flawed and emotional young bohemians.

Though I was generally annoyed with Larry and his enthusiastic portrayal of a bad actor and a self-centered boyfriend, I loved his girlfriend, and the friends and everyone else, so in the end, not too shabby. It was funny, and touching, and interesting to see that area of New York in that particular moment of history.

Thirty of the 111 minutes in this film are Walken-filled goodness. He is the antagonist, but he is no villain, and he is not without his own sympathies. Even if you don't buy my opinion of the rest of it, Walken's performance in this film is certainly enough reason by itself to watch it. He conga-dances, Yiddish-talks, and Chaplin-walks out of a cafe. He is a smooth-talking scoundrel and a dastardly bastard.

And he's great.

The Mind Snatchers (1972)

Directed by Bernard Girard; written by Ron Whyte (from the play by Dennis Reardon); 1972; color; 94 mins; rated PG; available on DVD; a.k.a. The Happiness Cage, and The Demon Within

Genre: Sci-fi/psychological Thriller
Actors: Joss Ackland, Ralph Meeker, Ronny Cox
Comparable Films: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Brainstorm*(also stars Walken)
Movie in a Sentence: Pugnacious misanthrope becomes an unwilling guinea-pig for a military-financed behavior modification experiment involving a button wired directly to the pleasure sensor in the brain.
Should You Watch This? Yes, Walken is magnificent in this and the rest of it is good, too.
RATING: I'll go 8 out of 10, maybe a high eight.
Walken Content: Chock full! Lotsa Walken!
Walken Quote: So Walken's girlfriend visits him in prison, and she's upset because they broke his arm and imprisoned him even though he's innocent of the charges. She's getting all worked up and he's calm as a clam, sitting there telling her she's boring him. She calls him "unhappy."
And he responds, "You remember that man we saw in Frankfurt? The mentally retarded man who just kept smiling while everyone around him was screaming? Well he was happy."


General Thoughts: Christopher Walken's first starring role. Our boy is all over this movie. Does he earn it? You bet your sweet bippy he does. He is a nihilist here, a brooding brute. He is skinny but scrappy, picking fist-fights with girls as foreplay, never once apologizing, not to anyone. He is an animal loose in the world, baring his teeth and snapping at the locals. But he's a rebel who is also in the military (good choice, fella), and they break guys like him for breakfast. Or at the very least transport guys like him to a remote clinic where they do dangerous behavior-modification-brain-experiments on him. And then they eat a healthy breakfast.

But not Walken, his mind's gonna be snatched!

The Mind Snatchers is a psychological thriller with a hint of sci-fi. It is also known as The Happiness Cage, which is its original title, and just between you and me: I like it better. Sure, 'The Mind Snatchers' is sharper, it grabs you (if you will), but it just feels like false bravado and it doesn't quite match the tone or pace of the film. 'The Happiness Cage' works as a title because it speaks to the meat of the film's concern: artificially inducing pleasure as a means of control.

Dr. Frederik is a brain-specialist, played well by Joss Ackland, whom I always think of as the bad guy in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey; sorry Joss if that makes you wince. Here, he is no 'Mad Scientist' out for progress at any cost. He is vocally introspective, sympathetic, and struggling with the ethics of sacrifice for the greater good. He discovers a way to hardwire a button straight to the pleasure-sensor inside a brain. Bing! Like orgasm on tap. Sure, his intentions are noble (science, medicine, therapy, etc) but he just can't control his military sugar-daddy Major Bigdeal So-and-So who naturally wants to militarize the technology, and just who is gonna stop him?

Walken's character, Reese, is antagonistic and an active misanthrope, but I like him because he's funny about it, and I believe him because his integrity never bends. He is likeable in a Jim Morrison kind of way, a brilliant asshole with a stupid chip on his shoulder. Reece is a "button-pusher" (ahem), the kind of guy that is always trying to get a reaction out of people while passionately demanding to be left alone. He is college-educated, and a private in the army stationed in Germany.

When MPs break his arm trying to arrest him for allegedly beating a woman (he had heard his girlfriend's friend trashing him, so he stares her down (he's SO intense in this), and tells her flat-out, "I don't care if you're a girl, I'll punch you right in the mouth. Get up." She leaves with daggers in her eyes, but untouched) it turns out his psych profile matches what Frederik is looking for in a test-patient, so off he goes to Dr. Frederik's isolated, prison-like clinic.

Ronny Cox (you might remember him as the bad guy in both RoboCop and Total Recall) is Sgt. Buford Miles. This cowboy hat wearing, happy-go-lucky hick is Reece's roommate at the clinic, and he is a good foil for him. Miles' manner, his drawl and country-boy naivete are annoying at first, but it is played right, and it makes him endearing in a younger brother kind of way. Perhaps a slightly retarded younger brother kind of way.

The Mind Snatchers has a One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest kind of feel, though it pre-dates the film by three years (Ken Kesey wrote the novel Cuckoo's in 1962) and it definitely has a spirit of its own. It is of a darker breed, more willing to wax philosophically about these concepts they're dealing with: motivation, control, social responsibility.

Walken had called the film "a piece of garbage". But then again, he also feared that his career was over. Fortunately, he is a professional performer, not a critic. And, fortunately again, he was wrong on both counts. Though it was flawed in areas: pacing, transitions, the ending could have been stronger, and his girlfriend in the film was an awful actress. Despite these weaknesses and more, this was no garbage. This is Walken marking his territory. This is Walken taunting his enemies. This is Walken killing it. The end of his career?

No, Chris. This is just the beginning.

Me and My Brother (1968)

Directed by Robert Frank; written by Robert Frank and Sam Shepard; 1968; duration 85 mins; in color and black&white; unrated (nipples and f-bombs); available to purchase on DVD only through a Steidl book about the film; no subtitles (c'mon Steidl, dropping the ball on that one)

Genre: Experimental Art Film
Actors of Mention Other Than Chris: Allen Ginsberg playing himself
Comparable Films: Orson Welles' F is for Fake, or perhaps Woody Allen's Zelig, also Synecdoche, NY
Movie Contained in a Sentence: A film director explores themes of alienation, dissonance, identity, and familial responsibility through a story about a catatonic schizophrenic and his somewhat obnoxious poet-brother who is forced to take care of him.
Should You Watch This Film? Yes. But don't expect to have a "pleasant" time. It is clever, and thought-provoking, but it is also trying to show schizophrenia and it is more than a bit depressing, so, you know, know that going into it.
RATING: I'll give it a 7 out of 10, maaaybe an eight. Not for everybody, nor for every mood, but this film has a unique perspective and a creative voice

Don't go towards the light!

Walken Content: Not so much, about three minutes of screen-time. He plays the director of the film from within the film, as he hires an actor to take over the part of the "real" person, the brother, in the "documentary". Heavy stuff, no? Walken only gets a smattering of lines and then disappears, but the real bummer is you never hear his voice, because it is dubbed (and badly) by the real director of the film.

Walken's great big Peter-Lorre-eyes stare out from a wrinkle-less face, a baby-face. With his awful plaid jacket, and his "look-how-cool-I-smoke-a-cigarette" manner, oh, you can tell he's going places. Even with the jarring bizarro-world effect of someone else's voice coming out of Walken's mouth, you can tell his personality and charm will not be denied.

Walken Quote: There isn't much to choose from, so let me give you some context. Walken is playing the director, sitting in a darkened theater interviewing an actor to play a part, right? But the film being shown is of the actor not only already playing the part, but following Walken's suggestions. Wheels within wheels. We hear a siren go off. Then Walken says: "I like that siren. Try not to shiver. Just look straight at me and try not to shiver. You can smoke if you want. Good. Now bite the apple."

General Thoughts: Beyond even Walken's dubbing, there is a worrisome disconnect between the sound that is presented and the action taking place on the screen. Some of it is brilliant. It is. There are layers of sound being built up, incongruous noises that shouldn't work, but do, and previous dialogue replayed in bits, like an insistent but spotty memory.

But EVERYONE has rubber lips in this, because the film trains the viewer to look for it, and see it, even when it isn't there. The juxtaposition of picture and sound is such a recurring theme that nothing seems real, nothing seems authentic, even when everything matches up perfectly. Sure, it adds to the surreality and alienation of the film, but at what expense? It can be annoying, and certainly confusing at times. The director throws a lot of creative tricks at the audience to convey schizophrenia, but in the end it is up to you whether or not you enjoy the affliction.

A Word on Availability: This was a film that until recently wasn't available to own. No VHS, DVD, or digital download, nothing. You had to wait for a film festival or art museum to show it. Recently though, a German book company has put together a really nice book about the film (screenplay excerpts, pictures, etc.) and included the DVD (both PAL and NTSC) with it. Unfortunately, they don't advertise that well the fact that the film comes with it, so I am taking the liberty of providing a link to the Amazon page where it is available. You're welcome.

The Kiss Off: And so begins Christopher Walken's film career. He is 25 years old in this. He is a spritely 77 as I write this now. By focusing on each film of his, and not just the supposedly "good ones," I hope to provide a comprehensive guide for anyone interested in finding Walken-gold without having to watch 90 movies.

Although you can. I did. It was wonderful. In fact, do that. Right now.

The Anderson Tapes (1971)

Directed by Sidney Lumet; written by Lawrence Sanders and Frank Pierson; 99 mins; color; available on DVD; it's rated PG, but I'm thinking PG-13 is a little more accurate

Genre: Ensemble Heist Action-Comedy
Actors: Sean Connery, Dyan Cannon, Alan King, Margaret Hamilton (the wicked witch of the West!)
Similar Films: The Conversation, The Thomas Crown Affair, Oceans 11
Movie In a Sentence: A thief and his team try to get "one last big score" despite the prevalence and efficacy of surveillance technology.
Should You Watch This? Nah. Don't bother. I mean, if it's already playing, go for it. But a brand new Walken is the only draw here.
RATING: I give it a 6 out of 10.
Walken Content: Only about 15 minutes or so spread out throughout the movie, but it's a strong, likeable character.


This is Christopher Walken's first big studio film and his first line in this one is a doozie. CW and Sean Connery just get released from prison, and CW turns to say goodbye to Sean, and with this energized grin, rolling his eyes in almost mock pleasure he says, "America, man, y'know it's so beautiful I wanna EAT IT."

You can't ask for a better first line than that.

His character, known as The Kid, acts as a kind of ineffectual Jiminy Cricket to Connery's Pinocchio. Connery's character, the eponymous Anderson, is the "hero" in this, despite him being an unapologetically heartless scoundrel. We're supposed to forget about how much of a prick he is and get lost in his brutish charm and lightly obscured brogue as he orchestrates that "one last big heist."

So what's the big scam? He's going to shack up with his old girlfriend in her apartment building and rob her neighbors. That's right, just clean them out. Not a bank, or a casino, or the mob. People. And the things in their home. Nice, right? Real likable.

The Anderson Tapes is a caper film that has replaced the clever twists and cunning ploys that usually drive a caper-type film, with various and numerous scenes of clandestine surveillance. That's right. Close-ups of the little spool on the cassette tape as it records the thieves' voices as they scheme, and creepy-looking mustachioed men hunched in dark rooms listening to everything. Which is cool, it is, but it doesn't GO anywhere. Nothing escalates and nothing is of value. The parade of secondary characters are fun and colorful, but certainly not enough to carry the story.


Director Sidney Lumet, who would go on to make quality films such as Dog Day Afternoon, Network, and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, seemed to not be able to make up his mind what kind of a movie this was. Was it a thriller? Cause it wasn't thrilling. A comedy? I was laughing some, but not at the punchlines. I blame its own eagerness to seem funny. It was needy. And nothing says lame like needy comedy.

The score is awful. Tinny, lame, and annoying. They kept using this shrill sound effect to show that others were listening in, a kind of electronics/sonar skree, as if we could ever forget that this is about surveillance technology. We get it.

Geez, I'm so negative.

There were some good performances. Alan King is great as Pat the mob-boss. Very Italian. He's trying to convince Connery that home security has gotten better since he's been in prison, and he says, "Some a dees places gaht moats." Charming and yet still intimidating. That's how I like my mob-bosses.

Connery's acting is fine, but whatever, and Dyan Cannon is enticing in a sex-robot kind-of-way, but ultimately she is forgotten by the end of the film, perhaps sooner.

Enough of them. How is Walken? He is brilliant, naturally, but underused. His quiet intensity crackles in his fifteen minutes or so of accumulated screen-time spread across the 95 minute story. Skinny, early twenties, plucky, and he is the moral compass of the group. Or he would be except they are jaded career criminals and so they ignore him when he gets preachy.

He has some good lines. Near the end when they're trying to decide whether to take what they've stolen and run, or continue cleaning out the last apartment. Walken wants to go, so here they are, half a dozen guys in the elevator, all wearing crazy Hannibal Lector-looking leather masks, and even through the mask Walken smirks, but you can tell he's trying to cover his panic. He turns to Anderson and says, "Hey Duke, it's late, I'm turnin' into a pumpkin."

Overall, you could probably live a life and never have seen this movie. It has some moments that make you wish otherwise, and certainly if you want to mark and celebrate the beginning of CW's illustrious career, sure, but no, in the end it does not succeed as a great film. The pacing is slow, the characters (with the obvious exception of CW) are shallow and unlikable and the ending is unsatisfying. It doesn't matter what happens because nobody wins; not them, the cops nor us. It is a tragedy cloaked in a caper, stuffed with bugs and convinced it is a comedy.